Trust Me!

Few words that almost everyone says.. its almost like "I love you" easy to say means a lot when you believe it and hurt just as much the same as when you find out they didn't mean it.

I've learned that trust doesn't come easy, its hard to trust someone and its hard for them to trust you. You spend months getting to know someone think they are safe and slowly let them into your life and then they betray you.

Whats worse is, when you know you shouldn't really trust them that other things make you feel like you can't trust them.. then talk to them about it and learn that maybe your ways of thinking is wrong and that maybe they really are safe.. but this time I dunno if I can easily just forget it this time.. this person it they want me to trust them again they are gunna really have to work for it.

I don't care if I got hurt by it.. its when the people I care about the most people I love and is my longest friend and that I think of as a bestie get hurt to.. Spent two years building up her trust in me.. and then someone tears it all down.. I guess it really was my fault for opening up to someone anyways.. but I thought I could trust them just like my bestie trusted me.

I feel like the whole world is like a big lie.. that nothing that is supposed to be is anymore. Everyone seems to be out to out do someone else get each other in trouble or like know each others business.

Gah.. so I'm noticing this is a vent post lol..

gotta love those nights of staying up filled with anxiety can't sleep cause your scared of nightmares and stuff..and then wake up to a message where it feels like everything is going to go mad..

I feel like such a failure today I was gunna try my honest hardest not to let it get the best of me..
Invited my nephew over to go hang out for Canada's Day and to watch the fire works.. and right now he is doing that all with my sister.. and I need to get up enough energy to go over maybe later tonight and join them..

Gah.. fuck this..