Finally!

I finally remember my password, to be able to blog. You know you have too many email address' when.. The past month has been crazy, things appear ok on the outside.. but on the inside I am seriously falling apart. I have spent more time at my sister's than my own house. I can't live at my place any more, I thought living away from my parents' house would help me so much.. but it isn't I feel like I am back to the same spot I was like last Sept. How do you fix something, you can't even put words too? It feels like just a feeling, its not even complete thoughts almost. I hate this I can't stand it. It looks like I have slivers in the palm of my left hand and it is taking all I have in me not to dig and pick at it, even if it starts to bleed. I want it out of there.. I don't even think they are slivers, they have been in there for months and I think I remember thinking that they were and picking at them and it wasn't slivers. Ugh.. can't find words.. sorry.